


Rivals, to Friends, to Fathers

by TinyPint7624



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Gay, M/M, Tags May Change, The main focus is Hamnoir, after spiderverse, hamnoir - Freeform, lets hope i get the motivation to keep writing these, straight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-20 07:37:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17618213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyPint7624/pseuds/TinyPint7624
Summary: Ham and Noir have been having troubles being allies, until something comes into to their life.





	1. The Night Of

About a month after the whole King Pin fight everyone had the help from Peni Parker To make an interdenominational teleporter, That way If anyone   
needed help then they could go to their dimension, either that or to just hang out, everyone always got along great except for two people due to   
their huge difference in personalities, those two of course were Spider-Ham and Spider-Man Noir. Spider-Ham, of course, to Noir's point of view  
was a naive, over the top pig who shouldn't be a hero nor does he thinks is a "real" pig. They easily got into fights constantly, only once where they   
started physically hurting eachother. It always ended in apologies, but the next day they we're always at it again.   
Until one day, They we're all on a mission together to stop someone from robbing a bank, they had all arranged a hangout this day and decided to go   
out together.  
they had split up into twos. Peni and Gwen together, Miles and Peter B., and Ham and Noir. The team thought It'd help them get along.  
The two of them walked through an alley way trying to find out what bank it was cause ham certainly didn't remember, and Noir doesn't know how to work   
with 21st century technology still, teaching him was like teaching your 60 year old dad how to work an Iphone. Ham always went on and on about how he  
dearly missed Mary Crane Watson. Noir was always getting so annoyed with this, cause he had both a Mary Jane and a Felicia Hardy in his universe  
but never cared to be in a relationship with either women, He didn't need love from another women, He liked to work alone and survive alone, unless  
it was with his spider family.  
He liked Peni the most out of the group, He always saw her like a daughter, and the fact that she'd always help him   
with technology. The weird thing was that Ham also saw Peni like a daughter, she always hugged the both of them when seeing them after awhile, which  
they liked, but they hated sharing her because of their issues of getting along with each other. A sudden noise was heard in the alley way and Ham jumped  
when he heard a loud noise almost sounding like someone had knocked over an empty can.  
"What was that??!!" Ham said alarmingly  
"probably just an alley cat, Pig, I thought by now you'd be use to animals." he replied  
"Uhh excuse me who's dimension are we in right now??" he said smugly  
"whatever, your's doesn't even take things seriously that's probably why you get scared easily."  
"My god there you go again, trying to pick a fight, and I'll have you know I do take things seriously Just cause I'm a cartoon doesn't mean I don't take things seriously" he replied stubbornly.  
"You're not even-"  
They heard a gun load up behind them, One of the guys from the bank made their way to the same alley they did.  
"out of my way and no one gets hurt." he held one of the cops guns in his hand, pointing towards them. Ham slowly started raising his tiny hands.  
Noir was defiant in letting this happen to him, so he started pulling out his revolver.  
"easy fella' if you think you can threaten me...-"  
Ham reacted quickly and shot web in the guys face.  
"KERSPLAT!! NOBODY ROBS SPIDER-HAM AND SPIDER-NOIR!!"  
The loud noise made Noir react and pulled the trigger, missing the guy and revealing his weapon  
The guy fell back and ripped off the webbing on his face  
"IM NOT GOING TO JAIL!!" he started shooting at them, Noir had thought quickly and blockaded both him and Ham with his trench coat.  
Unfortunately one out of the two bullets he shot hit him in the left knee. He cringed in pain as Ham charged at the guy tackling his face, blinding the  
guy. Noir shot his webbing around the guy tying him up as Ham was blinding the guy with his small body. Noir almost tripped as he limped over to the guy   
with his revolver pointing it to his forehead.  
"You pissed off the wrong private eye!..." Just as he was about to pull the triggered, Ham stopped him  
"Noir, no, don't shoot him!! Lets just take him to jail, Okay???" he put up a hand in front of him as he stood on top of the guys head.  
He reluctantly put down the gun.  
"Fine...Let's just take this Damn Mug to the station..." He scoffed.  
"See I knew you'd get better at this, Pal!" He said enthusiastically.  
"Close your head, Pig, I only did it Because I didn't want to get blood on ya."  
Noir looked at his knee and touched the blood coming out of it  
"Damn it, Ham could you not shout noises while I have a loaded bean-shooter in my hand FOR ONCE YOU ANNOYING GOON!!" he shouted the last part.  
Ham's ears drooped down slowly making a lower whistle noise.  
"sorry I just-" he was interrupted as he heard another noise.   
Ham's attention went right to the box near by them almost as if it we're a crying noise.  
Ham slowly walked towards it as Noir had sat down, patching up his own knee.  
Ham opened the box, once the box was opened his eyes beamed opened.  
"uhh Noir I think you might want to take a look at this..."  
Noir Had slowly got up and walked over to Where Ham was standing.  
"what could it possibly-" He got cut off as his eyes opened up.  
Whatever they just saw in that very box might just change their life.


	2. A Baby?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The life changing thing in the box is a baby and after some hard convincing, Noir agrees to take the kid home after taking the robber to jail

"It's...it's a baby??" Noir said confusingly.  
"Yes Noir that's what we call young infants in this universe" he said sarcastically, playing around with him.  
"shut your yap, I know it's a baby, but, why would a someone just abandoned it?-"  
"hold it!!" Ham interrupted as he checked inside the diaper of the baby.  
"It's definitely a He." He replied

 

Noir rolled his eyes and face palmed when he heard that, It honestly made him uncomfortable that Ham just did that in front of him.  
"why did you?...whatever, anyways why would it's birth parents just abandoned it?" he continued  
"I dunno, but he's awfully cute, poor little guy"  
The baby kept crying loudly, it wasn't without a doubt that he had been out in the alley way for about two days or so. The baby was cold, hungry  
and fussy. He had had tiny dark hair, a blue blanket, no shirt only a diaper, his face was all red from the crying, so many dirt marks were on   
his body. Ham decided to pick the baby up and hold him close, he lightly patted his back as lightly bounced his body up and down.  
"We need to take care of him, We can't just leave him out here cold, hungry and alone, someone could sell him on the black market!" Ham firmly said.  
Noir started walking back over to the criminal, not really caring about what Ham just said.  
"Yeah, go nuts, pig." He replied

 

"NOIR!! I am so disappointed in you!! How could you just leave this poor rascal here, he's so cute, you said so yourself how wrong it was for his  
birth parents to abandon him like that." He gave him an angry look  
"Yeah his BIRTH PARENTS." he emphasized "But I ain't his father and neither are you, so just leave him, an orphanage can get him or a garbage man."  
"you're are so awful how could you live with yourself??"  
"put the kid down and lets take this patsy to the pen." he refereed to the criminal, demanding Ham.  
Ham was not going to let this slide like everything else, this was a BABY, with no one to look after him, and no one to look up to, NOT EVEN A HOME.  
"I'm taking him back to Aunt May's." He said that like he wasn't going to give up.  
"Ham. NO!" He got down to his level and up in his face, to show him that he meant it.

Ham wasn't scared he was still standing up tall holding the baby boy.  
"Not. by. the. hair. of. my. chinny. chin. chin!" he glared at Noir, moving closer to his face, bumping foreheads angrily.  
They we're both growling at each other.  
"I agree with the cartoon pig man, I'm a criminal and all but leaving a kid that's just wrong."  
"HA!! see Noir!! We're not leaving without the kid, Even the bad guy agree's!!" He backed up a bit so he could look Noir in the eyes, as he smirked   
at him and lightly booped his nose as backed away.  
"Besides do you think your uncle would want you to do that, didn't he take you in when your parents couldn't?" Oh yeah he went there, he'd say anything  
to take this child home.

That really put Noir in his place, he finally decided to give in.   
"Fine, we'll take the kid back, BUT only until we find his ACTUALLY guardians!"   
"You got yourself a deal, peeper" He said shaking shaking his hand.  
"yeah yeah, and leave the 30's slang to the actual 30's man." he groaned.  
"gotcha! lets go home!"  
Noir stopped him and pointed to the criminal "ahem..."  
"Oh, oh right, let's go take him, and Noir how about we stop at the nearest store to get this little guy a little something to eat."  
"alright fine, lets just hurry."  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Noir had carried the guy while Ham was holding the baby in his arms, By the time they got to the station, the baby calmed down and ham was exhausted,  
his eyes had bags under them, when you're a cartoon and exhausted, they could form easily. Noir sent the guy away in a cell with his other allies, in  
which the other's brought in. Ham was started to struggled to walk with the baby in his arms as he started getting tired, at the point where he almost   
dropped the baby. Noir decided to show kindness and asked him,  
"You want me to carry you?..." he asked shyly.

Ham was surprised to hear Noir say those words, and looked up at him  
"s-sure."  
With that Noir picked up Ham and held him in his arms, Ham felt uneasy at first, this was the exact same guy earlier who disagreed on bringing the baby   
back to Aunt May's, as They were going through the streets towards the store, Ham cuddled with the baby and fell asleep in his arms. Noir went In the   
nearest convenience store and bought some baby food, he bought the chicken and dumplings flavor and green beans and carrots flavor.  
As he exited the store he looked down at Ham and felt him cuddle against his chest, It made Noir jump a little then he relaxed as he got use to the  
feeling, allowing Ham to do it. a little smiled appeared on both Ham's face and the baby's, Noir couldn't help but find it kinda cute, in which gave   
him a slight smiled. Ham's body started shivering as the wind blew in his face, causing Ham to frown. as Noir felt him shivering, he slowly covered   
Ham up in his coat.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After a bit he felt warm again and continued smiling. After a while they then reached Aunt May's house, Noir opened the front door of the house, walking  
in having two sleeping bodies in his arms. The house was quiet as everyone was asleep including Peni, whom was asleep on the couch, she held one of the  
interdimension teleporters in her hand, she had been fixing someones earlier, due to a malfunction in the device. Noir quietly went up stairs into one  
of Aunt May's guest rooms, which he had claimed the day of assigning them. He opened the door and slowly sat on the bed in the room slowly taking the   
two people in his arms and placing them down on his right, they were both fast asleep. Noir looked down at Ham and the baby, man was Ham was really  
attached to the small child, not letting go of him. Noir looked out his window as he took off his fedora and coat, trying not to make too much noise.  
as he got both articles of clothing off, he subconsciously started petting the top of Ham's head while looking at the different stars. That caused Ham   
to start wagging his tail, Noir saw and chuckled softly, Noir started realizing that if you got past all of Ham's annoying traits that he could actually  
be kinda...cute.

Noir laid back on his bed wondering what tomorrow was gonna bring, especially with a new guest in the house, non of the less a baby boy. He'd just have to  
wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look I'm not a writer so if it's not amazing i apologize 😅

**Author's Note:**

> stick around for the next chapter, there's not a lot of hamnoir in this chapter but there will be more in the next ones I promise ;)


End file.
